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:iconjaime-skavhaug-smith:

Artist's Comments

To my Unrequited Love,

I hate myself for loving you.
Your image relentlessly haunts my mind,
More haunting even than your crushing rejection.

I see you crying.
I want so badly just to hold you;
To hold you forever and make everything all right,
Yet the reality of your rejection sits heavy like a cancer
In the depths of my chest,
So heavy that my heart is infinitely stretched,
Beyond repair:
A black hole that sucks every ounce of happiness and energy
From my Soul.

I feel like I am drowning in a sea with no horizon;
There is nothing I can do.
I have lost control. Powerless. Helpless. Pathetic.

Can you even comprehend the misery your oblivious torture inflicts
Upon every dark moment of my Godforsaken life?
You cry, yet what could you possibly know of
Pain and rejection and self-loathing?

You deserve to burn in Hell for what you do to me,
And yet I would willingly give myself to you forever
For just one sweet kiss from your flawless lips.
I love you utterly; I would die for you,
And yet without you I am dead.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that, you see, is the reason why I do not write poetry! ;P

The piece is meant to symbolize unrequited love. At least how it felt to me... I guess it's all subjective. I thought a letter of confession of these feelings would make an interesting background, so I just wrote down some of the metaphors I remember from when my life was consumed like that...

Stock Art used to texture the BG:

'10' by ~rye-stock & 'texture07' by ~Odessa11stock - thanku for that :D

Comments


love 2 2 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconpantaleon:
....words cannot describe. I shall have to get back to you when I finish being completely bowled over.
:iconpantaleon:
I could never have expected this from you Jamie. I am completely overwhelmed with amazement at this work. Such raw and intense passion and emotion portrayed with a talent the likes of which I have never seen from you. Not that I believed you were uncapable before, but it is such a shock to see this from you. It is truly an awesome artwork and is certainly deserving of being hung in a gallery. Like all great artwork it is the product of channelled emotional power. You've packaged all the sorrow surrounding the experience you've undergone into a work of a dark but exquisite beauty. There is so much in the image that it's impossible to comprehend all at once. The cracked, empty chest is immensely evokative creates the emotionally violent air of a soul in turmoil. It brings an unnerving and disturbing sensation along with so many other feelings; fear, love, sadness, pain. Turning the image over in ones mind and reading the poem brings some level of comprehension of your experience. The naked figure seems to represent an openness, and a wish to share the pain and in doing so, be brought comfort or reconciliation. One cannot help but share this pain. To look at the image is to experience at least some of the very hurt that created it, but it is difficult to look away, as one is innexorably drawn into that abyssal black hole. Indeed, it looks like a crack in the very fabric of the picture itself and it presents itself as a very real and severe entity in it's own right.

My dear friend, you have so brilliantly created a work of horrific beauty and I am totally awestruck.

Now I really just want to hug you and tell you it's all going to be alright. :) Which it will be. I promise you. :D

Ever so sincerely (despite the possible pretentious air),
Leo.
:iconjaime-skavhaug-smith:
*Is slightly overwhelmed!* ...wow! Thanku soo much! This really means a lot to me Leo :hug: I did put a lot of time and emotion into this one, so I'm glad it shows, and that you connected to it on a deeper level... You know I always go on about how I can't listen to certain music anymore because it always hits me with whatever terrible emotion I was feeling when I first listened to it...? Well I just put on some Sigur Ros... and it seemed to do the trick ;P (Actually I listen to them a lot nowadays :) )

This is an important piece for me I think, because it was the first time I really abandoned my fear of painting something 'wrong' (obviously there are no references for holes-in-the-chest!) So I just picked some colours and started just placing them where it felt right... and I guess it worked :D

It's interesting you see the nakedness as openness :) When I was painting it I was thinking more 'vulnerable' and 'delicate' (I haven't the most burley of bodies!) but I guess this whole thing is very emotionally and physically 'open' - I definately wouldn't have had the courage to do this a year ago :( So there we go. A milestone I suppose :D

Anywayz... Thanku again for taking the time to really think about this piece and to write such a wonderful comment :hug:
Hopefully my future work won't seem anti-climatic ;P

Luv Jamie
xXx

--
- i tried to change but i changed my mind -
:iconkimus22:
wow man!!!! powerful stuff honey. if you need to talk?!... make sure you enjoy your xmas. looks like a red rose. i like the symbol also xxxxxxxxxxxxlove u lots
:iconschattenfee:
A great combination of a really strong poem and a fitting visualisation. There's an undeniable density to this. I love the flow and the depths of your poetry. Fascinating.

--
My world exists only in storybooks, my life is a dream...only my love is real.
:iconjaime-skavhaug-smith:
Well thanku very much for your kind words :aww:

For what it's worth, I wish your daughter the best of health and hope she's fit and well before long :hug:

--
- i tried to change but i changed my mind -
:iconschattenfee:
Thank you so much for the good wishes. I hope they'll help.

--
My world exists only in storybooks, my life is a dream...only my love is real.
:iconshadowspirit89:
I, I, I....I dunno what to say, this is gorgeous!!!! :+fav:

--
I lock the door and lock my head, dream of butterflies instead.
:iconjaime-skavhaug-smith:
Thanku very much, and thanks for the :+fav: too! :D

--
- i tried to change but i changed my mind -
:iconintoxifiedd:
I went Oh-My-God, then speechless. :D :D :D

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December 5, 2005
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